What my narcissistic father taught me about the power of MAGA

Since then, I have gone down rabbit holes learning about religious messages, religious abuse, and the clinical behaviors of narcissists while trying to unpack my childhood. From this perspective, in my opinion, it seems that a large portion of the US electorate belongs to a sect called MAGA, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

according to CultEducation.comCults are led by people who expect absolute power. I thought this might sound like a political candidate saying things like: “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and I wouldn’t lose any voters“.

These leaders do not tolerate anyone who doubts or criticizes them. Perhaps it was as if one of the leaders said to their political and judicial enemies.He should be caught and punished accordingly“.

To maintain people’s loyalty, they paint strangers as monsters. I immediately thought of the references to people who “Execution of children after birth“or she”Eat dogs and eat cats.”

The cult leaders also seem to refuse any accountability, such as, perhaps, Saying that ABC’s broadcasting license should be cancelled Because they dared to check the facts in the debate.

Have you ever wondered why Jordan Klepper can interview a MAGA fan Who’s to say that respect for women is an absolute value of American democracy when he wears a T-shirt that says “Hillary sucks, but not like Monica” on the front and “Trump is that bitch” on the back? As Klepper says, they “don’t even see the irony in it.”

Cognitive dissonance is staggering, but it’s actually an important safety mechanism when you’re within a system that requires complete loyalty. According to cult expert Janja LalicThis is part of what keeps you trapped because “every compromise makes it more painful to admit that you were cheated.”

I can relate. When I was a child, I knew something was wrong in my house. But if my father said the sky was green, I would make whatever mental distortions necessary to believe him, because there would be unpleasant consequences for saying the sky was blue. Cognitive dissonance has driven me into so many crazy circles because that’s how I ensured my safety.

Unfortunately, it can be almost impossible to understand that you are in a cult when everything is created to convince you that this is heaven – or as close as you can get to it unless you work twice as hard and redouble your devotion to the cause. . Violating your loyalty to the leader and group may result in harsh punishments, beginning (but not limited to) financial ruin and social exile.

People always say, “I’ll never be stupid enough to join a cult!” But you no Join a cult – You join a group of people who seem welcoming and supportive, seem to understand you deeply, and seem invested in improving your life.

You learn the language so you can be part of the crowd. You invest money in classes and gatherings to continue moving up the ranks. You dress yourself in merchandise to clearly identify yourself as one of the special people. Every purchase you make serves the group in two ways: filling their coffers with your money, while they teach you to believe in the same things that make it easier for you to control moving forward.

It can happen to any of us, no matter how smart or discerning we are. There is no shame in being deceived by a charismatic charlatan: he has honed his skill on many people before you.

We should not lump all Trump voters together with those who are actively working for the downfall of Western democracy. When we claim that they all share white supremacist tendencies and adjacent Nazi beliefs, we reinforce the MAGA talking point that liberals are extremists who want to destroy them.

Think about the last time someone tried to change your mind by telling you that you were stupid, it was unlikely to work. The best way to convince them to take off their tinted glasses is to do so Treat them with kindness and dignityInstead of shame and ridicule.

As uncomfortable as it may be, we probably have to make the first move. Here’s why: I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t get out on my own. I needed someone from the outside to see there was a problem and be brave enough to come get me.

Maybe my life would have looked very different if someone had sat down with me at 10 years old and gently asked me why my anxiety was out of proportion, and taken the time to listen as I sorted through the mixture of terrors constantly screaming inside my head. Maybe they could have helped me see an answer that wasn’t accessible through the brainwashing I’d been through.

I don’t remember how my father responded to my words Spencer: For hire confirmation. Saying the forbidden words took so much out of me that there were no brain cells left to register his response. But I will never forget the feeling I had when I made that little rebellion. This was the first starting point for my deprogramming.

Leah Carey is a relationship and intimacy coach and pop culture enthusiast. Drawing on her healing journey from fear and oppression, she specializes in working with people from highly controlling childhoods such as purity culture who want to break away from stigmas and unhealthy patterns around intimacy and communication. Her work has been previously published NBCThink and Journal of Cancer EducationIt was reported by CNN, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, and others. Find it at www.leahcarey.com Or @xoLeahCarey on YouTube.

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