The couple meets 14 years later, Twist reveals a surprise

When we moved to Connecticut in 2004 with our daughters, between the ages of 4 and 6, I believed that G was a little mired, and I was a little depressed. After nearly a decade of medical training, G finally started his first job, and I was in a full -time mom, as I manage our children and our family.

The banks have reduced their lending standards, so we were able to obtain a “doctor’s loan”, not a batch offered to buy a large house, but runs two acres of land. I made myself busy with the school activities of our daughters and ignore the old background in our flowing house, but I could not get rid of the feeling that something was not true. Have you lost my career? friends? Perhaps you are just a fish in the middle west of water on the outskirts of Tony from the East Coast.

About a year after we moved, Ghamd G turned into something else. As itself was ancient and calm with a healthy humor, this new version was excessively strange and sometimes inappropriate. The withdrawal and speed started around the house. He was sitting in another room to the end of the crossword puzzles. He was not asleep, and he seemed to be exhausted and meager. Our girls were walking on eggshell when they were around. He forgot his ideas or mood from day to day and he would be surprised when I remember him.

One day, I noticed that everything in the freezer was dissolved. The door had left a bit. I closed it. The next day, this happened again. I asked my daughters if they were messing with her and when they said no, I asked c. Tell me that I imagine things. After a few days, this happened again. I asked my daughters, and they said no. I asked G and Cagey. I pushed it, and confessed to that. When I asked why, he started confident in his thinking line: since we were fighting to meet their needs, he was simply trying to reduce our electricity bill. When I asked how, I saw his mind scrambling to remember how this was logical to him: if the freezing door was a little open … then … he will use less power! When pressing him, he felt frustrated with me because I couldn’t shine his plan.

This was a turning point: the turmoil in logical thinking within the mind of G found its way to the outside world.

Finally, G agreed to see a therapist but reduced what was going on. After a few sessions, when its symptoms continued to get worse, another one found it. Ji knew “Doctor of Speech”, and the sessions will be more collective than therapeutic. He told the story that he was a stressful doctor, and his wife was bitter and non -sophisticated when it came to the complex issues of the mind. They believe it, sometimes, as well.

It was not until G confessed to one of the therapists, “It is not a matter that I want to kill myself, it only does not care if I live or not.” The situation was taken seriously, and it was accepted in the internal behavioral health facility. There he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

We know our fathers what was happening. Whether it is unable, unwilling or afraid, it was clear that they will not be a kind of help we need at that moment in the crisis. My husband’s father came to visit when G was released from the hospital and told us: “I was waiting because it seemed always that he was hitting when they were growing up, but … this passes through our family. Grad G, was depressed. A window or something like that.

My parents flew to verify us and admitted that when I initially tried to explain what was happening in our house, they did not believe me. “We thought You “They were crazy.”

G and G and I continued to live together for a few weeks, but he was hesitant to accept his diagnosis and continued to manipulate doctors under his supervision. I was afraid of diagnosis and what it means to us, searched the Internet to get more information, and wander around the library’s psychology department for evidence of what would have come. The fact that she ran in the G family terrified me; The fact that he was blocked from us angered me.

G was given leave from work and is now at home all the time. I will not let him lead girls or be alone. I started sleeping in the guest room. I would like to say to myself: “No, no one will hurt.” and, “Yes, I am afraid.” It was difficult to reconcile the man who used to be a tender and safe with the man who now tells me not to wear a sleep dress, because he did not know what he might make him wanted to do with me.

I asked G to move to a hotel for a week or two so that I can get a space. He was very hesitant to do this, but I told him if he didn’t leave, I will leave with girls. In the end, he agreed. His parents – whom his outrageous stories took me about the child’s childhood now of different importance – told me that I am excessive in the reaction; They did not want to hear that their wonderful son was deteriorating. My parents could not understand why I asked for the departure – What about disease and health?

I tried to explain our young daughters what was happening in an appropriate way for age, but when they saw him, anything reasonable came out of the window. One night, we met him for dinner, and made a complete poem on a handkerchief before we asked for a meal. On the other hand, he appeared in our house, crying, saying that every nerve ended in his body was on the fire.

One daughter began biting her nails to Nub, and the other had the face of face that she could not control. He came to the performance of a school, and the other parents stood up while he was screaming and wandering in the audience. My daughters begged me to help him.

On the days G in the hotel and the girls were at school, I was going to walk long distances in the woods near our home. One afternoon, I realized that I would be late to meet the school bus, so I started running. My lungs contracted, closed. I pushed and ran faster. I stumbled on the root of a tree. The rough moments moved beyond my heart, all the way to my stomach. nausea. I doubled, and supported my knee to prove myself.

Men with their stories. Men with their blessings. Men with their hands. Women with our closed episodes.

A primitive cry from the depths of the interior, allowed to scream. An explosion, violent and luminous – and the moment of brightness absorbed everything.

The problem G or its bilateral disorder was not the pole. The problem was me – I am afraid that I would live from a part of myself outside the good girl/bilateral girl. Beyond books and my family, and God himself.

At that time, I was seeing a therapist, and I asked two simple but revolutionary questions: “How do you feel?” And “What do you want?”

I feel fear.

I want to be safe.

Soon after, I asked G to go out permanently. He was angry, but he found an apartment in a garage in the next city.