Finding space in the Church as an LGBTQ+ Catholic

Jess is grateful to be part of a community where he is loved and welcomed. He recognizes, however, that this is not the case for many LGBTQ+ churchgoers.

MANILA, Philippines – “It’s a form of love language.”

Jess (not his real name) takes several hours out of his week to serve at a parish in Parañaque City — an act of devotion, where love flows between him and God.

The 35-year-old works full-time as a government employee. But beyond his day job, he sings in the parish’s music ministry, plays a key role in his diocese’s youth commission, and serves as a lector or commentator at Sunday Mass.

“I feel the grace of God in different ways — like when I wake up well before my alarm rings in the morning, or when he gives me inspiration during moments of spiritual dryness,” he told Rappler. “The grace, the unexplainable happiness, they are the best parts of church service.”

Jess is just one of several LGBTQ+ servers in his parish. He is pansexual, which means he is attracted to people regardless of their gender identity.

Although the Catholic Church is known for its stern stance against same-sex relationships, it never really discouraged those part of the LGBTQ+ from joining church ministries. Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines spokesperson Jerome Secillano, as cited by Time, said the Church does not discriminate against servers based on their sexual orientation and gender identity or expression (SOGIE), but it urges LGBTQ+ members “not to change God” or church doctrines.

Jess does not see his SOGIE as a hindrance to his spirituality, or vice versa. In fact, it was during his brief time in the seminary when he learned that there was nothing really wrong with what he felt.

“I take it as grace. It’s up to me how I could use my experiences to share the greater glory,” he said.

Thankful for the privilege

Jess is grateful to be part of a community where he is loved and welcomed. The parish priests he works with are happy to have him around. Younger church servers even see him as a “ninong” (godfather) figure.

He recognizes, however, that this is not the case for many churchgoers whose identities or relationships don’t fit traditional norms.

LGBTQ+ individuals continue to experience hate, ridicule, and discrimination in the Philippines. In religious communities, they are often told to “pray the gay away,” forced to stay with unwelcoming families, or burdened by guilt from the perceived clash between their identity and their faith.

Jess himself has heard from fellow LGBTQ+ who have distanced themselves from the Church because of discrimination and religious trauma. Knowing their stories, he hopes that other Catholics would not close off their hearts towards those who do not conform to rigid gender and sexuality norms.

“As members of the faithful, we pray that the Church may never be the reason someone strays from their faith,” he said.

Keeping doors open

The Catholic Church, then under the leadership of Pope Francis, took more steps to support the LGBTQ+ community. 

Advocates considered the late pontiff to be an ally as he found ways to open the Church to the LGBTQ+ without changing Catholic teachings. 

In 2020, he supported calls to allow same-sex couples to be in civil unions, saying that same-sex couples also “have the right to a family.” Years later, in a landmark ruling, Francis formally approved blessings for same-sex couples administered by Catholic priests — a move that ruffled the feathers of religious folk.

But those efforts are just a start. For many LGBTQ+ whose lives are made more difficult by religion, the Church still has a long way to go before it becomes a safe space for all faithful, regardless of SOGIE.

Jess hopes that the LGBTQ+ who have a complicated relationship with their faith would someday find the strength to reconnect.

“Lahat tayo, pantay-pantay. Lahat tayo ay mahal ng Diyos,” he said. “Lahat tayo binibigyan ng opportunity na mapalapit sa kanya.”

(All of us are equal. We are all loved by God. We are all given an opportunity to be close to Him.) – Rappler.com

Some quotes were translated to English for brevity.