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“What about the tendency. Instead of taking ownership and responsibility for their contribution to the deterioration of the relationship, one or both parties simply point out an example of the other exhibiting similar behavior. It’s a red flag because it demonstrates their lack of self-awareness and poor communication skills.”
“Communication is key when trying to mend a fractured relationship because without respectful communication, the conflict recovery process can never begin. In the conflict recovery model, both parties agree to the terms under which they will communicate (no yelling, no interrupting, no, I told you so, etc.) Each party gets a chance to share what the other party feels.
Next, they each propose their solutions and identify where they made assumptions or where they were activated and why. Then they determine where they are willing to compromise. Next, we create an actionable plan with deadlines, and we monitor progress to see if the proposed solutions are effective.
IMO, anything can go wrong, but once the connection stagnates, you’re in real trouble. So, even if you’re arguing, you’re still fine, you just need to work on how to communicate.”
