A man 4 words while eating alone chasing me for life

“Hello.”

The man approached 20 of my table, the angle of his mouth bend. He looked away and rubbed his chin before contacting the eye and telling me: “I just wanted to know that if it came sooner, I would invite you to join us.”

I smiled at him. It was good for him to want to create a society with me, although I was just happy as I was. But it was not completely finished.

He said, “I really feel bad for you.” “You look very alone.”

These four words sat like rocks in the complex stomach. I heard them a lot throughout my life.

“Thank you. I’m not alone. I answered him,” I’m fine. ”

I looked away. shake. Who walks to someone to indicate that he looks miserable? His words in the room float like dust stains hunting light, and he mocked me as he was hiding in a side with his girlfriend.

It may be just a reference list that inherited from my father’s “silent generation”, but I found that society still measures value, success,and And happiness in terms of wedding and Arab gangs. I lived a lot of my adult life believers in these standards, so it was a choice to be a single challenge. This does not only mean dealing with the ruling from others – this also means hearing the interior of the interior, repeating those provisions: You are less successful and damaged than goods and failure.

When I sat there alone, I told myself that it was the issue of this man, not mine. But the very familiar whispers were more sound while looked around the restaurant, a spot that recommended my hostess of the elderly B&B, and their sparkling eyes: “The food is great. You will love how intimate.”

They were right. I loved the place as soon as I walk through her wandering wooden door. I said: “A table for one.” She smiled warmly welcoming me.

When I sat, the young man who was getting close to me was looking at me directly, so I smiled at him before looking at the wine list.

This was 23 years ago. I recently moved to the inner state of California, and toured the roads to the coast to explore my new state and lead part of the famous Pacific coast road. I was enthusiastic about this four -day trip, but now all I wanted to do is finish Riesling and Fettuccine alfredo, my bag packages, and retreat to the isolated small interior.

She refused homemade cannabis and sought, heading down, returning to B&b Victori. I went on calmly across the elder, where a host sat focusing on “the artifacts”, they felt comfortable and did not notice me. I took two stairs at the same time and the key slipped in the door to my room when it was cut in my throat. Then I collapsed on my bed and cried. I was leaving the whispers of victory.