4 words that changed my life after the diagnosis

In birds, there is something called “bird spark” – the bird that, when you see it for the first time in the wild, makes you a drug addict on birds. But this was my moment of sparkand When I realized that involuntary cramps were not “normal” and that I need to hide it if I wanted it He is natural.

If my mother takes any link between this child that we saw on TV, I did not mention that, and my parents did not take me to a neurologist to examine me. Because of this TV program, I assumed, mistakenly, that the presence of Tornet means screaming in public places. I learned that this version of Tornet is called Coprolalia and, According to the centers of control and prevention of diseases“It only affects about 1 in 10 people with Tornet.” It is not like the popular media.

For me, Ticting always means almost fixed desire to do things with my body. The “desire” may not be the correct word of these tremors in the head, flashing, enthusiasm, ores, throat evenings, tongue clicks, etc., but this is the best I have. From the moment I wake up a moment I sleep, it seems that my body has its own will. On any specific hour, I may be tic at least 100 times. During the large stress periods, as when I succeed in that car, my involuntary cramps are similar to parasitic fungi that takes full control of my body.

Nobody wants to trembling or making strange noise in public places – that the person who proves that their necks are to see them. What is wrong with this man? Imagine them thinking. After getting a summons by my teacher, I just wanted to integrate – to become invisible – because when you are in the primary school, you do not want to look at it as obsessed. You want to be like anyone else.

I couldn’t stop Ticting, but I discovered that I could make it less clear. To protect myself from shame and embarrassment, I have developed an arsenal from the strategies that hide TIC. Instead of lifting my head, I would like to put my hands below the table and joking my fingers or fist ball frequently. Instead of snoring or infiltration – clear and strange sounds – I will quietly strike my tongue, like the irregular accelerator.

These tricks are satisfied with my semi -fixed desire for Tic and often kept me hidden from view. I did not feel intimidation or inconvenience in school, as children and adults with involuntary cramps are often, but I may have learned how to control involuntary cramps.

I have been using these tricks since then.

When I am in public places today, I strongly realize my internal slot on Tic, but I am adept at its suppression, the highest filling and tightly directed. At home, where I am free to be myself, it is a completely different story. Involuntary cramps go.

Six months ago, I began to flow air from my mouth the way someone might blow from his face; After a few weeks, Hocking started as if he was spitting Loogie. Like uninvited guests with their welcome, both involuntary cramps remain with me and I write these words. Sometimes, a specific TIC will disappear only to return after a year, like the mysterious older brother who went to the kidney and returns to the house with a malicious smile and a beard.