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Contact, not too small. All the small changes you make.
As a couple of 30 years of experience, my partners repeat many of the same mistake without knowing it often. Usually, these Unexpected models started early dealings.
But don’t mind if you’re making some mistakes now. Simple change, at any time, can go a long way to rotate things.
Here are six common trends to avoid in a relationship, especially in the early years:
1. Fasting
Most people are. What was We grow up growingor maybe the opposite.
While we educate as professionals and parents, most of us realize that we need to learn to be a good couple: conflicts effectively address Become a good listenerTo solve and constantly invest online.
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I invite you to see you as partner training and spend proactively articles, books as well as learn from therapy.
2. Your partner is responsible for your happiness and welfare
A Compliance with relationshipWhere love grows, each person begins when they understand their happiness and fulfillment in their hands, not a partner. This is precisely why “one’s relationship” is located as the first pillar of my book “A wedding soul: healing your relationship with responsibility, growth, priority and purpose.“And as a basis for building long-lasting love.
When you invest a self awareness, you have set it authentically and to live happier. Knowing yourself becomes a door to treat yourself with a loving kindness, challenge yourself to grow and eventually take responsibility for your well-being.
3. Seeing conflict as a bad sign
One of the most forgotten faults of young couples believes that a good relation should be a smooth sailing, minimum Fighting or disconnection. The wrong concept continues to come with advice often, accepting tensions means something worse than I really do.
But living with living things, breathing or marriage really often disconnecting and reconnecting. That way we build confidence and grow. Here is what I often say when the couple enter therapy:
“I’m glad your friction is not a bad sign. It means you’re calling to grow your conflict. This should be helpfully to help you start and find your challenges and seek quick reliefs.”
4. Trying to change your partner
When something about your partner enters your skin, it is trying to change these natural inclinations.
Yes, it is important to address the issues that are concerned. But it’s not more often, it’s wrong with what’s going on. When you feel a tendency to criticize or change their partner, ask yourself:
- “Can I use this moment to have more patients, to love myself, tolerance or unconditionally?”
- “Is it here to grow for me?”
- “Do I do something like?”
- “Do I expect perfection?”
- “Do I appreciate everything that gives me my partner?”
5. Loss of priority
Initially, our partner is easy to increase. But ensuring that our friend is the most important person in our lives, it must be constant priority.
The most common threat I see this preference is when a couple becomes a family child. Too much law, work, or concern about those who think about the needs of partners or feelings.
The young couple get-go-goes to get to fight for their relationship to get easy ways and fall in love with their partner. This can mean that the date night and growth night, the first to have fun and having fun with having fun and not being so good.
6. Thinking of a small
It is important to take care of ourselves, invest Our happinessAnd feed the town in our immediate circles and community. At the same time, to capitalize a relationship to capitalize everything that can lead to our lives.
Separately and as a couple, the world can do better than the force that adds better for the force and filling a dimension that can create your bond.
Don’t have to save the day in the world. Small, you can start as volunteers, to enrich someone who is ill or invited to your home. The idea is to feed the parts that they want to expand the ways as a partner.
When my husband and I find our energies together, the spirit of generosity is softened above our differences and brings us closer.
Rachel en, Edd, He is a professional consultant who is more than 30 years as an individual couple and therapist. He has taught and created workshops for organizations, such as YPO, Kabbalah Center, OneVillage, University of Missouri and Psychotherapy Saint Louis. Rachel is also the author “A wedding soul: healing of responsibility, growth, priority and purpose.”
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