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Parents are very well aware of how to listen to a boy who refuses to hear: it’s frustrating.
But after years Learning more than 200 parent-child relationshipsI noticed something fascinating: parents who refuse to defieize do not threaten, shopping or consequences. They use the language that children actually cooperate.
Traditional sentences for parents (“Stop,” or “If you don’t do this, then …”) It often turns the baby’s struggle or flight response, focusing on survival of the brain than learning. But when we change the language that honors children’s autonomy, when they follow the limits, it becomes a natural cooperation.
On my basis investigationand from practicing Healthy habits With my child, here are five sentences to avoid – and what to say instead.
1. Never say: ‘Because I said that.’
What to say instead: “I know you don’t like this decision. I’ll explain it, and then we’re going forward.”
Why it works: “I said” the communication shuts off and teaches blind obedience. But explaining your reasoning, briefly helps you friendly your child.
You are not discussing or traded – you are modeling respectful leadership. This phrasing recognizes his feelings and you are in a quiet and quiet base.
2. Never say: ‘If you don’t listen, you will lose (x privilege).’
What to say instead: “When you are ready to do it (specific behavior x), we can do it (the activity you want).”
Why it works: Threats make a challenge because children compel them in defense. This sentence changes the power dynamics: your limit is maintained when your child is ready to know. You don’t get rid of the limit – you are removing the fight.
3. Never say: ‘Let it cry. You are fine. ‘
What to say instead: “I see you really get angry. Tell me what’s going on.”
Why it works: By excluding children’s emotions teaches them to manage feelings wrong or too much. Emotional Inversion causes disconnecting and disconnected children do not collaborate.
When a child hears, they calm down faster – and they trust more.
4. Never say: ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’
Say instead: “I asked a few times. Help me what you are doing for you.”
Why it works: This frustrated question in his opinion, the baby is deliberately difficult. But often, the challenge seems to be really confusion, disconnecting or lagging skills. The confirmation puts the confirmation instead of the blame for solving the problem and the root of the subject is obtained.
5. Never say: ‘You know better than that.’
Say instead: “It’s getting the path of your best car right now. Let’s talk about it.”
Why it works: “You know better” the baby embarrasses and questioning his integrity.
But alternative phrases reflects the change in mindset – a penalty in collaboration. It assumes your best child and encourages self-reflection instead of defense. Sends the message: “I believe in you and I am here to help.”
The real secret to listen to children
It is not about monitoring your child’s behavior – it is to create conditions that feel natural cooperation.
Children grow when they respect, Emotionally safe and participated in the process. These sentences changes are not only language tweaks – the parent indicates the deeper change we see. Instead of being challenged as Squash’s challenge, we begin to see as a sign: the call of connection, clarity or emotional support.
When we respond with empathy and leadership, we reduce power struggles than control and criticism and lift children who trust us, easier to regulate and grow Emotionally mature resilient.
REEA RAOUTA is the main voice of conscious and creative parent Principle – Party medicine transformative magazine ready to break the cycles, do the internal work and emotionally safe needs for parents. It is very popular with the strengthening of children’s emotional safety and parental children. Continue forward Instagram.
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